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Kabiyesi is a neatness and tidy freak, I cannot deny that in my quiet moments I have not wondered if this is not some minor disorder. But hey, won’t the world flog a woman who says her husband tidies up too much? The only time I whispered it sef, na so the babe I tell say

‘Hian! Achalugo, give me your man’.

Nnaa I take my mouth pocket am back jeje.

The secrets of the kitchen have been revealed to the women mostly by the gods, that is why sometimes a man will enter your kitchen and just misbehave.

I had some left-over Ogiri* from my recent Omugwo, strong smelling original ogiri like this that can only come from the village. I got home from my Saturday cycling and met Kabiyesi executing some freezer clear up. How he had gone to dig out and open the tightly enclosed Ogiri till today baffles me. Next thing I heard

“Shishi, throw that smelling thing away, it must have soured”

Shishi has sense gratefully, even as she couldnt guess what it was for, she knows who to pay kitchen loyalty to. So she held it hesitatingly, praying I’m sure, for Mama 100watts to come and rescue her from the dilemma.

In defence of my Ogiri, I flew across chairs and side stools to the scene.

“Throw what away!?”

The man confidently replied

“This smelling thing”

I smiled and issued a threat in my usual subtlety

“It is like you dont want to eat Onugbu or Oha soup in this house again”

Kabiyesi: What has this smelling thing got to do with this your inyanga of food now?

Me: (Exhibiting feminine talent of going off point) Ask me o, that is how when I was pregnant for TheBoss you threw away the chicken stock I kept in the bowl and claimed it was dirty water.

Kabiyesi: Achalugo, four years ago something you are bringing up

Me: Okay, last week didn’t you throw away the empty carton from what we bought?

Kabiyesi: Carton? Dustbin na

Me: Dont be touching things in my kitchen na my love, I wanted to recycle that carton.(*Pause* *Throw in another off point*). Is that not how you brought the carseat into the house when I said it should always be in the boot?

Kabiyesi: 😮 *Looking rather perplexed*

Me: (*delivers final off point attack*) If I say I want to go to Surulere now you will say I should go to Ikeja. Do you think that quality of Ogiri is in lagos? Oya throw it na, You will go to Anaocha and bring another one for me.

😂😂

The end.

A leopard does not change its spots, but it will keep out of the spot a hunter’s trap caught it last…till it forgets.

Awesome week ahead,

Olori Achalugo.

*Ogiri is a native soup ingredient, a very wonder as to what something that smells awful is looking for in your pot of soup.

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