If you think this is an economic post, about how inflation and increase in everything has made a mockery of pocket money value, sorry to disappoint you.

I know some of you used N5 to buy three Galas and two bottles of coke when you were in Uni, and N10 used to mean a whole lot. Infact, it meant so much that some people still believe it means so much.

My work is not to depress you with memories of the good old days, today, I wish to acquaint thee with the new meaning of pocket money.

It’s not new like that o, just that we are still waiting upon Oxford, Webster and co to add this to their vocabularies.

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Note how there is N1000. Kabiyesi can never make that kind of mistake

From time immemorial, it is those currency notes you discover when you are emptying your man’s sokoto in preparation for washing.

Logic: Someone born in Nigeria is a Nigerian, someone born in America is an American.

Application: Money gotten out of the pocket is……….’Pocket money!’

If your husband na accountancy guru like Kabiyesi,  chances are that your luck of finding money strewn about in different pockets will be pretty slim.

But darling fellow woman, there are ways about these things.

  1. When you go out together, conviniently misplace the wallet after he has paid. Chances are that he will just want to rush off and keep his change in his pockets, hoping to transfer it when the wallet shows up. You gotta be sharp, na 10 seconds operation be that.

  2. Once he comes home from hanging out with awon goons,  just help him strip like a good woman. It is immaterial if at that moment he thinks you are really being romantic. Well yes you are, and no you aren’t.  You just need to get those trousers into the laundry basket asap.

  3. Wash all clothes as soon as you can. You see this my husband, he can remember two days later where he forgot his N500. So try and wash quick o, no piling up. Once the clothes are washed he will just move on with life. Trust me no one has time to confront you over what you will likely deny.

  4. Take all, even the N10 and N20s’. It will be obvious robbery if you dont. The aim is to confuse him into thinking he removed all but can’t remember where it is.

This was typed quick , today is Saturday, I’m just choring about. So no time to sit down and really develop more tips for you on earning pocket money.

Do you have any tips? Please share.

Happy weekend!

Olori Achalugo

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