If you thought Motherhood was about giggling into the face of a chubby infant and getting smiles and drools in return, you are …not wrong. You just do not have the big picture.

Motherhood is hiding under the bed to munch a piece of cake, and giving it up when you are found,with a huge pretentious ‘it-is-not-paining-me’ smile on your face.

I listened to a group of graduands at a recently held convocation ceremony and this statement struck me

“This programme stressed her ehn, she had three miscarriages, but she has finally graduated”

Alleluia shrieks rent the air.

I strongly believe that a woman’s body is hers, and her decisions do not concern you. Like a woman wants to have seven children? Unlook. A woman refuses to breastfeed? Unlook. Especially if like me, you abhor people’s nostrils in your business. The golden rule always works -mind your business as you would like others to mind theirs.

So this is not an opinion giving article. I am here to ask questions, this time.

What are these sacrifices we make over our families? Why would someone go through a Master’s degree program and suffer recurrent miscarriages? Between the pregnancy and the education, which of these couldn’t take the backseat since coexistence was proving impossible?

Why are there women leaving her infants to return to strenous jobs? Because they have no choices, sometimes -This is a reality. I would like to think that a lot of mothers want to nurse and bond with their infants, but what they desire and their options are on two separate lanes.

What works for you in the balancing analysis? I told myself from the onset ‘something gotta give’. I had dropped some courses back in school, to enable me balance family and school. I remember some people saying ‘Oh just pack them all, even if you get a pass’. I am very allergic to mediocre performance, it’s outstanding or not, no in-betweens. This is every area of my life, including my parenting.

So sometimes, the family suffers a little, or your job suffers a little,or your studies suffer a little, and this is okay.

What isn’t, woman, is that one suffers immeasurably because of the other. Know when it is no longer working, know when to stop, don’t let that horse drop dead beneath you.

Remain strong,
Achalugo.

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